this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed

remote

the landscape of dreams

we can observe

but never walk

remote

the landscape of dreams

we observe

but never can walk it

castles in the clouds

benign air

doesn’t support

however pleasant the illusion

masking

its cost

the real leaders of hamas are comfortably in dubai or qatar and have no qualms about sacrificing the gazans to generate the need for arab and iranian funding which they can then conscript a significant portion of for themselves

the israelis’ are faced with hamas and allied groups getting drones and rockets of sufficient guidance sophistication in the next year or so as to present an existential threat

hamas is the usual case of a hubric, callous, out of touch leadership embarking on a catastrophic course

a twisting maze

constant inversions

breaking out

the road

to

completion

enya with clannad  an tull

obviously an extremely talented family in a supportive culture, such skills don’t come from nowhere

voce8 sing   may it be  (enya/ roma ryan/ shore/lord of the rings)

an upside down medusa head

doubly wronged

a gaze that vitrifies

her own injury

ed.  there’s two upside down  medusa heads  (2:05) in the basilica cistern, istanbul

writing takes you out of the loop of the influence of the idiots around you

writing takes you out of the loop of the idiots around you

an echoless world

not reflecting a single thing to do with you

depressing

however

its not a mistake

to look

even though

nothing

is found

so much confusion

ill informed

a vast parade

bustling

noisy

burdensome

this world

of entitlement

growing backwards

catching up at the wrong end of life

muted trauma

ludovico einaudi  experience

not quite to my taste but likely a source of "inspiration" for the music of the science fiction film "interstellar" ?

the 2nd or third time of listening, it grows on you

also itself  indebted  to philip glass ?

like solomon says

“ there is nothing new under the sun ”

once you get to a certain level of writing, musical or other areas of artistic composition, provenance becomes "blurred", outright plagiarism only bespeaks a complete lack of talent and carelessness

another’s secret

you don’t tell

even them

how wise

following the road of objectivity

conceit falls by the wayside

as it must

if the road is followed

breaking the context

a larger vision seeps through

wanted and unwanted

we suffer

and benefit

“ we are the last generation ”

china’s interesting  demographical  problem, its not just the CCP, south korea has it similar

noam chomsky is an interesting thinker, a contrarian who is in many respects right and in other respects not so right, certainly his insights on language are correct and fundamental despite prevailing counter-currents in academia

politically however i suspect an underlying utopianism or naivety about human self-interest and variance in competence which is the usual rock so many have been wrecked on, but he is an effective counterweight to  marxism

chomsky is strongly, but not completely in the area of adequate weighing of the information encoded in our genes whereas marx doesn’t weigh that at all, rather promoting complete malleability of humans and their societies in terms of education, training and cultural engineering/ control, something today that looks dystopian and akin the religio-philosophical tradition of "tabula rasa"

if you think about it, you can see how "woke" has its orgins in marxism, this belief in social, personal and biological plasticity

the dream world

what you can’t touch or hold

beckons

yet is eternally distant

living in its own comfort

leaving us bereft

the dream world

what you can’t touch or hold

beckons

yet is eternally distant

living in its own comfort

leaving you bereft

suicide

a death

that scarcely perturbs the world

how wrong it is

such quietism

bitter travelling

along wrong roads

however

the view turns

out

to

be

universal

if you  watch  the key movements for a while, you can see that j. s. bach thought with his fingers when composing, it wasn’t just the sound

somewhat amusingly, but quite listenable, the "invention no. 13 in A minor" by j.s. bach and played by justin ball on a "souped up"   marimba

is there a class of mathematical problems which have a "double-banger" difficulty in that there is no indication as to whether it can be shown they can be resolved while actual progress in resolution is completely ambiguous ?

soaps

the revolving door of impediments

endlessly spilling its contents

two line poems

three line poems

saying

something

or nothing

can

quite

impress

the dramatist’s  "deus ex machina"

what is so easily achieved in script

so little existent in life

but

actually

not non-existent

the borderlands of love

an enclave

in the heartland

of

dissonance

oh

the

cries

women pursue their wombs

in the context of which, men are a necessary evil

women pursue their wombs

men are just a means to an end

kindred spirits

see a bit further

but not that much further

only

the

solitary

sees

all

calligraph

stroke with care

done well

they talk

endlessly

of

the author

calligraph

stroke

with

care

done well

they talk

endlessly

of

the author

another soul

bleats hurt

what can you do to help ?

nothing

you may have even caused it

autumn fortells spring

and spring fortells winter

enjoy the summer

while you can

unbalance

off-center gears

this is how

the

world

works

amateurs waste their time

professionals watch K and C-dramas

in previous times i used to "sort things out"

now

i don’t even know what to sort out

“ i’m looking for novels about plastic surgery and beauty standards in korea ”

watch some k-dramas, 50% of the actors and actresses have had plastic surgery

the beauty ideal is say a mix of 60% korean and 40% european, some mixed marriage children come pretty close

there’s quite a few good youtubes that cover contemporary south korea

type in "korea plastic surgery" to the youtube search

books are passé

too unfinished for this world

it laughs

careless of your problems

tears rise

and fall

the world goes about its usual business

oblivious

crawling around insane worlds

taking on their insanity

paradise lost doesn’t compare

will it ever be regained ?

a phrase i have never come across before

the jesuitical approach  —  neither a lie nor the truth

a flaw in the story

downstream

still

manifests

love

left

leaving

life

like coming to love

and life

glittering moments

flash on the water

and

are

gone

love

left

leaving

life

like coming to love

and life

glittering moments

flash on the lake

and

are

gone

late at night

not sleeping

there’s nothing to solve

there once was

i can’t even remember

what it was

now

empty vacuity

no illusions

about how it terminates

the strange things about war

its better to be a POW than a combatant on the side that captured you

cowards live longer

what would get you a jail sentence in peacetime gets you a medal

death is random

what was right in the war can be wrong eighty years later

fifty years later, no-one knows anything

david deutesch  saying  easy variability is the sign of a bad explanation

i don’t feel what i write has easy variability, rather can be expanded in a manner consistent with what was originally written

when i write a poem or aphorism/homily, i’ll often do half as it comes that way then run into difficulties for the latter half and have to discard several attempts before striking out again in the right direction, that is, you can’t deviate from its "true track"

there’s a word for the subtle infiltration of political ideas in c-drama, "agitprop" ,  interestingly k-drama shows more the dystopian edge of south korean society rather than political indoctrination

all the ostentatious virtue signalling over what is happening in gaza ?

what were these maladroits doing to help free the gazans from the cruel and crazy yoke of hamas which, when all is said and done is the usual brutal ideological dictatorship of an elite with an autopilot set for disaster ?

the opposite of nothing, rather enabling its rule by acting as the propaganda mouthpieces for it, what we see happening now is the result of years of permission for hamas to use their subject population as a "shield" or hostages

the problem now is that advances in drone and missile technology mean that israel faces an existential threat from hamas in the near future so from the israeli point of view hamas can no longer be tolerated in gaza and hamas’s long held policy of exposing the local population to danger to protect themselves is now creating an awful humanitarian disaster, the scene was set many years ago and the ukraine’s successful "asymmetric" response to russia has opened many eyes to a new wave of potential sovereign hazard

at least people used to do something once, now its just all talk and posture, they didn’t do anything then and they don’t do anything now except dissemble probity and foresight

voces8 singing  going home  a cappella

words followed by more words

the swirling chaos of being

loops they can’t see

but endlessly

traverse

whole light

everything is seen

half light

half seen half hidden

which illuminates more ?

zen itself is a story, you can call "zen masters" storytellers, most are

if you can’t develop your own understanding you will end up believing the endless nonsense

zen itself is a story, you can call "zen masters" storytellers, most are

if you can’t develop your own understanding you will end up believing the endless nonsense of the stories

wrong roads

i never took a right one

only in the end

wrong turns out to be right

if you are able to think for yourself then you can sort things out for yourself regardless of the erroneous views of others

plastic kettles shed microplastics and leach chemicals, glass is best

dream world

inside

outside

the dream ?

too inside

catastrophe lurks

outside

the

world

too

bland

cluttered

crowded

the day

the night

in modern life

there’s no respite

"ideas" don’t exist separate from the language used to express them, its this articulation that makes truly for originality

writing on aphorisms

redundant

reasoning goes in any direction

wisdom only goes in a few

an interesting  cultural dissonance

this could not be part of western mass entertainment, because there’s no public acceptance of "reincarnation"

you look at it and it seems relatively normal and then you hit a completely alien belief system

of course the most obvious "trans" that everybody goes through that never raises a blip on the "dialectical" radar is the trans of aging, decaying hormones and increasing ugliness is not perhaps, such an interesting topic after all ?

i think you would have to be a little bit insane to be a professional pianist, or it would drive you insane, one instrument and a fixed/limited repertoire

overfocus

an improbable tale

fuses

and

the unreal

becomes

real

calling itself life

a world where everything is stitched together

why shouldn’t there be ?

just not this one

a literal backwardation of being

arrival where we weren’t before

a million years of travel

no wonder the returned world looks skew

summer haze

hints of intenser landscapes

of feeling

the land we come from

and go to

when we die

love forever

burnt by reality

something left

 in the cinders ?

would there was a final reckoning

but there isn’t

a few flat notes

drifting away to nowhere

old men are not impressive

byzantium is too far for them

yet yeats still lives

eclipsing his mortal frame

meaningful questions

dissolve on a little probing

its that simple

reincarnation

my eighteenth then my nineteenth life

the universe has an undercurrent of rationality

what appears

disappears

to emerge again

but

what has been

blurs with what is to be

you need more than one universe to hold that sort of confusion

old enough

to start outliving people

that’s when

you start to notice

aging

the beatles "last song" which actually is the reconstruction of a partly developed composition of john lennon’s enabled by recent advances in technology

  now and then

i quite liked it, you can certainly see the change in direction of the beatles

so much

is only resolvable

with work

magical thinking

the road

of errors

the baying crowds

imagining

realpolitik

can

be

reversed

their ineffectiveness

masked

by

a

short

attention

span

a fascinating  documentary  on sir robert helpmann, an entire time line and world that is now almost lost, but full of vigour and interest when it was occurring

so many famous figures, margot fonteyn, anna pavlova, audrey hepburn, vivien leigh, rudolf nureyev, laurence olivier

i think there was a cultural homogeneity then that enabled such a condensation of talent that the very fractured artistic environment now ,  does not permit

is "mind" the same as "brain" ?

after initially thinking they were, on further thought i don’t think they are, the brain is not static , but by the "free energy principle" is in constant interaction with the environment and also most likely contains functional quantum neurological elements so i would say "the sky is wider than the brain" in contradiction to emily dickinson’s view

denature the pesticides on the blueberries by washing them in hot water with sodium bicarbonate, there’s info on the web about this

i think a/the "mid life crisis" is the realization you have reached the "decay" portion of your life

of course sooner for some than others and more conscious in men than women

when you write above their "reading age"

beware

you will be hated

drift worlds

unreal

strike out of them

don’t drift

its dangerous

the clock ticks back

how can we be outside time ?

it happens

melodrama

no remanence of damage

pretty typical of fiction actually

real life

however

.

.

.

.

the double meaning of his replies is what makes joshu different and to my mind unusually authentic

he’s not really telling you anything that can’t be worked out, all the same, the reader has to take a step or two on their own

the monks ask for forwards

joshu goes backwards

their mouths agape

with not understanding

good advice is rare, very rare and usually hard to take

if you look at something from an historical point of view, you are not concerned with the rights and wrong, but what happened and why

what seems essential and important today will at some future date be looked at from that perspective

religions necessarily promote themselves as the truest version of "ultimate reality", this is some theological grandiosity that has a very practical root, that of justifying subservience to the "priests" of the religion in that only the priests are qualified to interpret  the infallible scriptures

ie gives the priests/imams etc political power

the current secularism of western countries is historically anomalous since rulers and the ruling elites were always using religion to consolidate their own positions in pretty naked powerplays

an interesting   discussion/study  of statins and how they work and the many side effects !

read the study and you will know more than any prescribing doctor in their blithe cocoons of ignorance

actually its reasonable to expect anyone being prescribed whatever to research it, but of course that’s rarely done in this world of full-blooded proxying

ignorance has consequences

impossible corners

what can exist ceases to exist

can the inverse also be the case ?

i don’t have an answer

arguing with the insane

don’t expect a rational response

poetry

confusion

organised

quantum reality

classical reality

transitions

mutual

backwards and forwards

and so the turtles

stack on top of each other

downwards

with

no

resolution

albert einstein was basically monolingual in german, he never learnt hebrew and his english was that of a reluctant immigrant, the minimum necessary

in my view, if he had learnt  hebrew  as a child he would have never gone on to develop his theories of relativity

"nothing" contradicts itself

why then

shouldn’t

"something"

contradict

itself ?

savannah brown has very variable quality poetry, but  this one  is pretty good, not the tangle of nonsense she sometimes gets into because this time its her direct experience

salman rushdie on  truth in fiction

there’s something very fundamental about fiction and our ingestion of it, from crazy ideals like nazi-ism and marxism to existentially challenging works like "to the lighthouse", read one and you take on its flaws, read the other and your navigation through the world is enhanced

i supplement 3000iu vitamin D and 90mcg vitamin MK7/K2 a day with half a 200 mcg chromium polynicotinate tablet twice a day (keeps the blood sugar down) which would suit a lot of people i think, if you are in a selenium deficient area you can add 100mcg of the thorne selenomethionine

for very occasional use there is low dose germanium sesquioxide as an anti-viral, also zinc monomethionine

within a decade vitamin D and MK7/K2 supplementation will be accepted as basic, what i know is it has kept my joints to that of a 25 year younger man

simultaneously

everything is

this is not god

but

something else

the female universe

more limited

and larger

than the male

voices

opinions

the usual barrage

of media nonsense

voices

opinions

the usual barrage

of nonsense

the long term effect of anaesthesia  on cognitive function

surprisingly, general anaesthesia doesn’t seem to be much worse than regional, i would hypothesize its the inflamation induced by the surgery in combination with the chemicals in anaesthesia that inducts the brain damage

the other point that professor lars erickson makes is that susceptibility is a function of genetics, age and medical frailty

dai kensho is the basic enlightenment experience that soto and rinzai require before going on to "finishing school" ie formal transmission

all the rest, koan study etc is just "passing the time" and you can tell if a person has had the genuine experience or not

its sorta science fiction, like working the tumblers on a safe and then , surprisingly, accidently even cracking the code and stepping through to another world, portal like

once that happens it leaves its mark on you and actually strands you in a netherworld

the collapse of the wave function in quantum theory might be a good analogue

the genuine experience is very rare, most synthesize some erroneous construct, but as i say the having the genuine, you can tell the endless fakes

rather than being "final", dai kensho is just the beginning and to be honest, its not necessarily a good thing, the price is very high, it takes another thirty years from it to add up and most don’t do that,

a its a bit like taking the "red pill", there’s a lot of trauma following

whereas i think you can see joshu has added it up, zen has the hidden requirement of needing a long life

the most outstanding feature of japanese military command during world war 2 was its incompetence, from building the wrong sorts of warships to completely misplaced strategies, the partial suicide of a race

they were driven by outdated doctrines with too little respect for rationality and a disastrous cultural bias to overvaluing seniority compared to competence

the fukushima disaster had a long cultural tradition of ineptitude at the top behind it

vivid

the world swings open

to close again

this brief glimpse

we

call life

the problem israel faces and why it has reacted so strongly to hamas’s rather pathetic  (in military terms)  "offensive" is what the russo-ukraine war teaches the world, that relatively unsophisticated drones like the shahed in sufficient quantity can destroy a countries infrastructure, i.e. what is now known as "asymmetric warfare" ,  a strategy taiwan is also adopting where a militarily inferior opponent can still inflict sufficient damage on its enemy to deter it from invading

hamas missiles have been at least two generations behind the sabat, but there is no reason to expect they will not move two to four generations ahead over the next year or so and as a consequence israel will be in serious peril and so it has no choice but to destroy hamas and similarly ideologically fixated groups in gaza

actually the civil war in syria was worse in terms of human casualites and mindless brutal destruction, but media attention is selective

the very deep problem with the middle east is that islam is a religion of conquest and doesn’t fit the modern world and that poor fit is creating high richter earthquake levels of trauma

by contrast christianity is a religion for the maintenance of an empire and historically has always outshone other religions in this respect, though a more intelligent and tolerant version of isalm did create a great and wonderful muslim medieval empire for a while

you may think the russo-ukraine war contradicts this, but in fact christianity these days lacks anything like the cohesive and pervasive social control it once had

exercise is a simple non-drug remedial for depression, not to excess though, but you know how things are today, drugs, meds and poor quality diet and then bitch to the world never noticing that it does not listen

“ rutgers researchers  have used neuroimaging to demonstrate that cocaine addiction alters the brain’s system for evaluating how rewarding various outcomes associated with our decisions will feel

this dampens an error signal that guides learning and adaptive behaviour ”

i think this holds for most drug use and is the underlying reason the drug scene is so fraught with murders and violence

the real skill of an author must be the ability to create a world or worlds that do not appear to just come from one brain

of course the easy way to get around this is to read widely, which is what i do

this is the palpable difficulty with shakespeare being the author of the plays, given his background the plays would be fabulous works of imaginative invention whereas sir henry neville as the author is much more prosaic, the plays are in fact his life experience, the level of unrealistic prodigy that shakespeare would have to be is not required

jane austin is another case where in fact her life experience covered the books to a surprising degree

a hidden  social tragedy  in china

ontological proofs of god

the axioms wax lyrical

until disrupted

by

 the devil ?

“ Truth is relative ”

today’s dream

unaware

of the contradiction

of its absolute

claim

computational complexity

when the numbers get too large

what emerges ?

why

"emergence" of course

any abstract consideration of life

deals with this decoupling

of reality

from observation

wisdom literature

is essentially

the untrue

from a certain

perspective

this is why most people

choose to live

and not think

and who can blame them ?

soaps

female hypergamous pornography

then you know

the species has breeding

in its inmost bones

what they don’t do

meditation

what they do do

spill words

and words

and words

thus passing their time

and passing their time

the waste

is usual to life

i am afraid

however

the worded

and wordless

both

pretend

when questions are taken as answers

and answers as questions

then you know

you’ve made progress

when questions are taken as answers

and answers as questions

you know

you’ve made progress

the giants of intelligence

prodigies

seem somewhat short-changed

in

the "about"

they seem not to question

putting something the way you want it

rather than the way i want it

a malformed me

is dangerous

to me

poor old salman rushdie

attacked and injured for permuting god

lost an eye

whereas i

who deny everything

walk

unmolested

we seek

to find

something to stand on

but all we stand on

is

ourselves

for which

there cannot ever be

an explanation

we seek

to find

something to stand on

but all we stand on

is

ourselves

for which

there cannot ever be

a complete explanation

love visits late

if he visits at all

his softness underlies

all that has been

giving an appearance as of

seen through mists

we not understanding

the true

landscape

unmasked

the song of the black hole

step into the sun of null

what has gone before

goes

what has yet to come

is mourned too

as more than fragments

a black pall hangs

over everything

pulling inwards

to itself

inverse singularity

covers everything

excessive computational complexity

is its true state

those that claim to know

don’t

religions

claim to resolve

“ the problem of life ”

mumbo jumbo

about mumbo jumbo

as far as i can see

its the madness of crowds

that puzzles me

writing

without sense

the only way

to

make

sense

 eventually

the moon

subliminal light

only half

of what is seen

the single road

half an answer

not the whole

the rest

exists

in

confusion

“ is there anything you are actually good at ? ”

getting things wrong before i get them right only to discover that "right" is provisional on the road of error

solitude

not episodic

but continual

its own opening

and

closure

the above is a sort of rework or fugue on the diary entries by franz kafka below

“August 21, 1913. (...)  I live in my family, among the best and most lovable people, more strange than a stranger.  I have not spoken an average of twenty words a day to my mother these last years, hardly ever said more than hello to my father.  I do not speak at all to my married sisters and my brothers-in-law, and not because I have anything against them.  The reason for it is simply this, that I have not the slightest thing to talk to them about.  Everything that is not literature bores me and I hate it, for it disturbs me or delays me, if only because I think it does.  I lack all aptitude for family life except, at best, as an observer.  I have no family feeling and visitors make me almost feel as though I were maliciously being attacked.  A marriage could not change me, just as my job cannot change me.

August 30, 1913.  Where am I to find salvation ?  How many untruths I no longer even knew about will be brought to the surface.  If they are going to pervade our marriage as they pervaded the goodbye, then I have certainly done the right thing.  In me, by myself, without human relationship, there are no visible lies.  The limited circle is pure.”

in the academic literature field   :   narratology, semiotics, formalism, critical theory, literary philosophy etc., large scale language models are changing everything, don’t get caught out, honestly you can teach yourself better over the net than a confused and dumbed down academic career with the usual idiots

stories

a life of their own

as another life

theirs and ours

a mix

who is who

is hard to distinguish

netflix

narcotic

the opiate of the masses

to keep them

subservient

marx got it wrong

this subservience

is a good thing

keep the idiots fed

at the trough of fantasy

and catharsis

the world

a dream

many gates

to other dreams

dazed we wander

on a path

seemingly without end

disturbed

by this lack of finality

the young trade on their physicality

it seems it will last forever for them

any rose

will tell them otherwise

jeff bezos recounting how he decided  not to pursue a career  in theoretical physics

this sort of failure is a huge problem in the arts and writing today, the universities turning out in obscene quantities, not simply the inept, but the thoroughly wrong-minded who, unlike jeff, have no cognizance of their own maladroitness

is russia showing early indications of going into a reset ?

ed.  24th october 2023

the russian media is showing signs of confusion and lack of central control, turning in on itself, maybe putin really has had a heart attack ? the level of recent casualties and no prospect of an end to the war is starting to shake some of the complacency out of the general populace ?

putin’s very public assassination of yevgeny prigozhin was a big mistake, a signal of deep discord in the elite

i caved in and bought youtube premium, the moronic ads were getting to me after years of being ad free with ublock origin , god its a relief without them !

however i won’t say they were all moronic, there were some effective ones, even with a useful social message like the victorian state ads addressing public abuse of people/immigrants working in service jobs by giving some background to their lives

there was one very disturbing ad of a young girl with what looked like genetic heart defects and other abnormalities asking for funds for operations in the usa, it was very effective and drew you into it, on a personal level you feel compelled to respond !

i wonder if she came from a culture that had a lot of first cousin marriages ?

an interesting thought i have just had watching  a video  of a german woman speak flawlessly in chinese as though it is her first language is that there is no racial genetic developmental specialization of the vocal tract to suit one language as compared to another, that is, brought up in any language we can speak it

there are plenty of other genetic racial specializations

i think the problem with the  newcomb’s paradox  is that the "reliable predictor" is nonsensical, it cannot be something that exists

scott aaronson, says pretty much  the same thing ,  just put a different way

he "rocks" a bit, he’s on autistic spectrum for sure

its an intrinsic feature of the future that it cannot be predicted reliably

advertisements are in effect a series of unproved claims that are crafted to hook into an emotionality  (usually only semi-successfully)  that will take these claims as proven despite them just about always being specious

i think south korea is always going to be a bit weird, its still technically at war with north korea which has real nazi style concentration camps for dissidents, these are korean people and the bodo league massacre was in 1950, only 73 years ago, these things must leave a deep imprint

however much south koreans may pretend things are "normal" they are in a war zone with its standards

"the ultimate question" begs the question

what is the penultimate question ?

is life book-ended by non-existence or not ?

i feel if it has any rationality it can’t be

there must be a different perspective

john 1 : 1

“ in the beginning was the word, and the word was with god, and the word was god ”

andrew’s apocrypha  0 - ∞

in the beginning were words and that’s how it was at the end as well

the unseen hazard of nursing is the extremely high exposure to every virus and infective agent under the sun and the health problems nurses often run into later in their life are no accident but have their roots in this constant exposure, poor shift schedules from the circadian rhythm point of view don’t help either

the weirdness of seeing  adult identical twins  in normal real life interaction

a mix of similarities and subtle personality differences

an interesting  article   (including   youtube )  of édouard manet’s painting "le déjeuner sur l'herbe"

for comparison, monet’s  version  doesn’t carry the same heft, being merely "pretty"

its possible to spend 20 or 30 years ruminating over events that completely upturn the way you think reality works

i know

because i have

can’t say i am a fan of creative writing classes , but i think  salman rushdie  would be ok

virginia woolf’s take

style is a very simple matter   :   it is all rhythm

once you get that, you can’t use the wrong words

but on the other hand here am i sitting after half the morning, crammed with ideas, and visions, and so on, and can’t dislodge them, for lack of the right rhythm

now this is very profound, what rhythm is, and goes far deeper than words

a sight, an emotion, creates this wave in the mind, long before it makes words to fit it; and in writing  (such is my present belief)  one has to recapture this, and set this working  (which has nothing apparently to do with words)  and then, as it breaks and tumbles in the mind, it makes words to fit it

but no doubt i shall think differently next year

the door opens

it wasn’t there before

we enter into a strange world

in the end it turns out to be built

like everything else

seeing that

we can now leave

stepping through

the wreckage

the utter separateness of couples

distant in the view from each other

biologically fused in offspring

the only real joining

yet they

are still separate

interaction

therefore

is

necessarily

fraught

because

that’s

the

world

we

live

in

"helping people" is being on the wrong end of a con game, always look for reciprocity, if its not there, forget it

when you think about it, advertisements are a form of "propaganda"

being a polyglot is an impressive ability but it has its price which is a lack of intellectual development in other areas

men and woman are a natural solution to a philosophical problem the answer of which is essentially useless

narration

narrative

a smoothing over

of

discontinuities

gaps

that vary

from potholes

to chasms

telling polyglots what they don’t want to hear

that being multilingual itself is a form of PTSD

cognitive dissonance

what we think should happen

doesn’t match

what happens

cognitive dissonance

what we think has happened

doesn’t match

what has happened

languages that don’t mesh well, like say german and korean may impose a language delay in the young children of mixed race parentage

the view in the trenches has a trauma the strategic doesn’t

education is "different" from the sympathy and understanding that comes with in-depth experiential

japan and korea have millennia of very homogenous populations and a consequent amplified sense of racial and cultural  identity

a bit of history research and cultural interest would be helpful to anyone planning on living in those places for a while, its not just about language

you don’t want to get too "entangled" in what people think, we are all a maze of inconsistencies !

measured insanity

essential

to stay sane

in life

are you insane like me

anna

song by halsey  gasoline

what is charisma ?

tiktok and youtube are awash with the "i love my body"/ hwasa song challenge ,  but   this young woman  stands out, why ?

what the net is good at ,  going outside the usual boundaries and making you think

roses are stink-edly red

shit is perfumedly brown

add humour to dullness

and don’t be afraid to clown

nonsense terms in the spiritual

spiritual

is

also

a

nonsense term

love

a fleeting fragment

of something deeper

yet not deeper

the blurring lines

coalesce

into

new

lines

and

so

on

and

on

william butler yeats' famous poem  sailing to byzantium  is interesting in that its a poem that the sense grows on you over several readings over a day or two, its not immediately apparent on first reading

an r|zen poem by "elephantshrew"

Roses are fragrantly red

And poo is stink-edly brown

Don’t add perfume to roses

Is the humor in you or the clown ?

my  reworking

roses are stink-edly red

shit is perfumedly brown

add humour to dullness

and don’t be afraid to be the clown

the weirdest thing about chinese soaps/melodramas is the way subtle CCP propaganda permeates through them, the main one being a glorification of work and personal industry over any other life goals which is not what you would quite expect

however in a politically constrained society like china with still a huge state ownership of commercial institutions, personal incentives for most can be lacking so i would say this "propaganda" is deliberate

another insight is the background of a high degree of health problems which i would say is due to pollution, especially air pollution

baiyun duan’s case collection #31 translated by suru

the senior official lu asked nanquan,  "the dharma teacher sengzhao, was he not strange ?  he said he understood that heaven and earth share in one root, that the countless, myriad things are of one body"

nanquan pointed to a peony in the courtyard and said, "senior official, the people of today see this cluster of blossoms like they were in a dream"

baiyun duan’s comment

"heaven and earth share in one root"   —   naturally this is oneself

like coming upon nanquan in a moment of delight

pointing, he said,  “they see this flower as if in a dream”

you need to believe there’s a different sky in the jar

my comment

there are different skies in a jar

because there are different jars

in different skies

"one root" is an illusion

like many roots

are

an

illusion

its fascinating what you can find on the web, i noticed in his wikipedia entry that scott aaronson had a lecture plagiarized for a ricoh ad and lo and behold, i found  the ad and its a gem !

his comment  :  someone suggested a cameo with the models  (as settlement)  but if it was between that and a free printer, i think i’d take the printer

he’s married for sure

narratives

stories

opening a pandora’s box

of possibilities

to collapse

to

just one

story

the writer’s lot

a sort of god

brought down

to reality

scott aaronson is one of the true geniuses of our generations, he’s the only person i have seen who can  explain  quantum computing in a way that makes sense

scott’s take  on "why is there ‘something’ rather than ‘nothing’ ?"

i think that can be translated as to why being rather than non-being which actually has an answer in that we come from being so its tautological, rather like scott’s example of "why is seven a prime number"

conventional ways of looking at things

give random answers

deep meaning

and the ability to truly predict

lies in

the embrace

of the unconventional

when it doesn’t seem like there’s more

there’s

always more

international politics

war

inherently amoral

because

the bottom line

is

death

which knows nothing

of

ethics

tick  -  tock

the time drifts away

non-productively

this is called

“ waiting at the end of time ”

apparently comfortable

it sits on the knife edge

of

failure

aspergers can be socially inclined, but not performative

high functioning autism is not socially inclined, but can be performative

reality for these matters is always a blend, hard and fast categories have a way of breaking down

high IQ is a schizophrenic condition, in your case, spread too wide in triviality, a litany of clichés

“ the remembrance of a certain image is but regret for the loss a certain moment ”

marcel proust from the end of "swann’s way"

personally, i think he is overrated, but of course i can’t read him in french, the translations may not be capturing "the hidden dimension"

“ there’s no teachers of zen ”

how so ?

"well there’s no zen !"

the chinese forced social drinking is something else

its not like they don’t have enough health problems !

damascus, aleppo, gaza

sophisticated cultural urban centers for three millennia

squashed by the footprint of modernity and crazy destructive wars and dictatorships

putri ariani  B flat 5

the absurdity of high heels

they look absurd

are absurd

long term use damages the feet

but

fashion needs

have always trumped sense

patricia janečková  singing  the "birds in the charmille" aria as the female automation olympia in jacques offenbach’s "tales of hoffmann"

she tragically passed away on the first of october this year  (2023)  at age 25 from breast cancer, an irreplaceable loss for the world of opera, an outstanding singer with a strong physical stage presence

hoffmann died before he completed the opera so he never heard a performance of his most popular work

as a twelve year old in  Talent Mania

"ordinary mind", "buddhahood" and "enlightenment" are ontological constructs that are so flawed in their axioms as to be worse than useless

kallmekris  at the top of her form

i don’t know why  trauma  is so creative, but it is

maybe ,  in part, because trauma inducts transgression, always an essential component of humour

when you see or hear the very best of the best, it accelerates your induction into understanding an art, a  shortcut into a more sophisticated appreciation

mikhail baryshnikov  dancing  a solo in "don quixote"

i think the same holds for sports

being in the audience is not as passive a process as one might think

the no harm world of entertainment and melodrama

damage unwinds

always

to lose a poem or homily

because i forget to write it down

still happens

ed. last night in the shower i thought of a sequence, about five lines with most one word, i thought that’s ok and will write it down, then clean forgot and i can’t even think anything about it now, just a blank

before i go

what remains after i have gone ?

nothing

before i go

what remains after i have gone

nothing

what you don’t need to know ?

well, it worked when i tried it, and when you think about it ,  the shoulder  is a highly dynamic mechanism held together in three dimensions and consequently of course is quite vulnerable to damage

the sun

not yet set

a wide flat sea

mystic hills

is there

 more than this ?

if you ask "is there any harm in believing the untruths of a religion ?" hamas has to be a clear example of extreme harm

their belief system forces gaza into constant conflict with a much more militarily powerful contiguous neighbour whereas a rational co-operative approach, though with certain penalties, would have been much more to their advantage

there’s plenty of examples of enclaves getting by, even with the russo-ukraine war, kaliningrad is in a satisfactory situation

hamas’s actions can only be described as political schizophrenia

melodrama

the world rewritten

as

female

another "nikolietta" calligraphic youtube  short ,  i was wondering what the attraction was and i think its the fusion of meaning with form

the form is not particularly sophisticated but it carries a very heavy weight of meaning which i think all quality entertainment does

achilles’ conundrum

kleos aphthiton

able in war

where life is short

a glorious reputation over the millennia

or to melt in obscurity

where life is long

well as we know

it was the first

but with this bitter twist

we don’t know

whether he was fictional or real

the male and female worlds

horrifying to each other

its a wonder they ever meet

and perhaps

they don’t

the female world of subterfuge

loathsome to the male

its victims

i have never been one for any musical appreciation, either i liked it or i didn’t, but over the years looking at performances by the best on youtube i have grown in sophistication to appreciate that there is a proficiency and the music itself has an internal logic that opens up to the listener and you actually need to see the music played

it has also made me appreciate the level of skill that some of the audiences have, sort of hidden, like you can’t tell there’s this depth to them just by how they appear, almost invisible so to speak

  long moon embers ,  contemporary chinese dance

cheng xiao  again

love a little

but not too much

or little

the boundary

between necessary

and catastrophe

is not so big

a month seems long ago in today’s world

step back 4000 years into the twelfth dynasty of egypt via the world’s  first book

allowing for cultural differences, it doesn’t seem very different to ourselves today

text

article

rejection

fades into disinterest

the beast

habituated to prodding

no longer flinches

make-up

very plain women

transformed

an art

the chinese entertainment industry

excels in

the old made young

and the young

made

beautiful

indeterminacy

not even

non-being formed

no state

of

anything

indeterminacy

not even

non-being formed

no state

of

everything

“ the work of marcel proust is filled with analyses that seek to describe non-oriented states of the soul; the good appears in them only in rare moments when either by the effects of memory or beauty, eternity allows itself to be present through time ”

the above quote by simone weil

the push and pull of personal boundaries

unseen trauma

that we take meaning from

sissel kyrkjebø  singing  solveig’s song which needs to be understood in the context of henrik ibsen’s  play

feng shui

superstitious rubbish

missing any rationality

part of a deeper chinese cultural misalignment

and problem

beauty

cut short

taken out of our view

there is no greater sadness

the world of dreams

intenser than real life

fiction

rules us

a misaligned

fantasy

memory

that fragile bridge between us

its all

we

have

the sadness

of

its

frailty

“ If you kill your parents, you repent before Buddha; if you kill Buddha, where do you repent  ? ”

perhaps more understandable in the western world as "if there’s no god, what’s behind everything ?"

the problem is in the question

simple themes

irreversible harm

one does to another

unbalanced

bitterness

unhealed

hurt

pompous asses

expounding on the "meaning of life"

how to explain

its not even a question

my illness weighs me down

summer foliage

summer flowers

these still exist for you

please remember me

ed.  the above is an abstraction/reworking of a poem  (below, retranslated by myself)  by  li shangyin

it was hard for us to meet, but parting is harder still

the east wind is mild, yet still the flowers fall

the silkworm ceases of spinning at its death

the exhausted candle leaves its frozen tears

grey clouds my hair

moonlight creates an empty scene

going to the afterlife

you are my living here

martial arts

movies

animation

pure projection

no reality

toxic

hardly any media interviewers or journalists understand the concept of being neutral and letting their subjects tell their story, rather we mostly seem to get an overlay of the interviewer’s opinions

not a difficult concept, but so ignored, an entitled generation not able to see past its own needs

to look across history

other times

a walk further than geography

wider than my mind

herodotus

a disrupted storyline

reveals the underpinnings

disbelief

has its purposes

there

is

no

substitute

actors

traces of one scene in another

earlier continuities

discontinuous

but

.

.

.

its all a story

in the first place

surreal

alternate realities

that don’t occur

there

is only one reality

or are there

 more ?

surreal

alternate realities

that don’t occur

there

is only one reality

or is there

 more ?

fan fiction

the dreamer’s dream

past their complaint

of finished writing

fan fiction

the dreamer’s dream

past their complaint

of unfinished writing

fan fiction

the dreamer’s dream

past their complaint

of bad writing

“ I hate how contradictory I am, in the span of five minutes I can do something remarkably smart, and the next moment something completely idiotic.  I can remember the most accurate mental picture of a 30 year old memory, but have no fucking clue what the three item to do list my boss just verbally said to me

I can be a complete emotionless robot in the face of hairy situations, or an overwhelmed anxiety ridden man. Structured, routine driven and responsible, or obsessive and irresponsible due to a special interest

There is no middle with me, I’m one thing or the other the next moment ”

my comment

this constant alternation of opposites/extremes is what i call a "quantum thinking style" because its similar to the way quantum computing works, its highly accurate (eventually), but personally traumatic which i guess you have to live with

probability

keeps the world real

synchronous, unlikely co-incidences

are for

the movies

yet

i wouldn’t

say

they don’t

entirely unhappen

probability

keeps the world real

asynchronous, unlikely co-incidences

are for

the movies

yet

i wouldn’t

say

they don’t

entirely unhappen

language and languages are universals

people who get hung up in the supremacy of one to the exclusion of others

are

idiots

our suicidal dead

we all have a list

thinking of them

is like a grainy picture

you can’t quite see the details

the weakness of memory

that pitiful abstraction

of life

nature abhors homogeneity

everything is mixed

“ I am making one last attempt to rewire this thing through neuroplasticity before I say goodbye and break free from the prison of my brain to reconnect with this beautiful world ”

your prison is the way you look at things, starting from the premise that "reality" is sane

its insane, its that simple and necessarily so, therefore what is truly correct is going to jar with "normality" and it will punish you for this if it can

the autistic perspective, because it is a "low theory of mind" condition has the openness and ability to reconstruct reality so it is in verity with how things actually are and work

you don’t have to break free, you are already free

memory

that schizophrenic reconstruction

beware

its bars

ed. i didn’t intend it, thinking a context of prison but the other meaning of bars is humorous and applicable

the world is simple

it doesn’t support conspiracies

regrettably

limping past knowledge

into lack of knowledge

the mark

of a truly educated man

writing

i realise

there is no audience out there

except me

its enough

and actually

is never

more

information gathering

just to get by the daily now

essential to our existence

so we are hooked

into continuity

and

believe it

hormones really mess with the female brain

they will never be sane again until menopause

which unfortunately has other effects

social media

crafted hooks

to gouge you

social media

crafted hooks

gouge you

a bad story

a trapped reader or viewer

is there a worst fate ?

no !

dichotomous thinking

back and white

tidal movement

one way then another

a never ceasing approximation

of what doesn’t approximate

deep problems

can be solved slowly

and eventually

it

happens

quantum processing

melodrama

one way then another

only rarely

is there perfect cancellation

of

error

pivoting too much on words

any story

script

but

its

not

life

time stops

i’m missing something

the right words for sure

the hair’s tip seems narrow

but walk along the length

and it is broad

likewise a pin

its not the head

the angels dance on

pam ayres  at her best

“ What redditism pisses you off  ? ”

mindjerking downvoting

flaws

scriptwriters

scripts

deus ex machina

co-incident

unreality

tropes

inconsistency

guiltless they write

horrors overlooked

by our appetite

for entertainment

any absurdity

approved

and absorbed

the road out

softens us

as we prepare for finality

the harms and hurts

we have suffered and given

fade into the mellow twilight

the shadows lengthen

and then we go

exiting

what goes on forever

essential

to open

the prison door

the world

like a block toy

that pieces together

day after day

bit by bit

pedro páramo  very mexican, everybody kills each other but its the precursor of "one hundred years of solitude"

it may be the better book

rarely does a mystical scene get translated onto the screen in an effective manner, surprisingly, a chinese melodrama  does this

the world

grasping to live

how those lost

by suicide

stand-out

the stasis

of an unending end

we look

stuck there

too

false worlds

anti-solipsist

never-ending

island of isolation

other people

impervious walls

don’t be fooled

otherwise

a benign world

we can dream

the gap between ideas and performance

is ever seen

asian cultures have a sense of predestination that is quite alien to european

likewise the european sense of redemption is strange to the asian

deep seated historical views inwoven into the cultural fabric being carried forwards as templates for action

alzheimers

that creeping abnegation

of all we think is right about the world

the  babi yar  massacre

its hard to argue life has a purpose

beyond its own occurrence

writing

a day goes past

there’s nothing even if i look for it

the

unbeholden

it spills out

unasked for with its own relevance

now i know

my ideas about myself

are not what i am

why is judi dench such an outstanding actress ?

she’s nothing intellectually like most of the thespian ilk

but there’s a cold space of being she naturally inhabits

that seems to do the work for her

all i am good for

is writing poems about death

other people’s

fortunately

the world is simpler than it appears

love

hate

aggregates of nothingness

no carry-over

from nothingness to the vivid

and back to nothingness again

death

the known

goes back

to the unknown

death

the unknown

goes back

to the unknown

actors

actresses

a certain looseness of identity

and being

alternative realities

we daily step into

oblivious

of whether we are productively changed or not

“ why not embrace the dumb ? all that one greek dude knew was that he knew nothing, and i think he did ok ” 

socrates, he got executed, though if you read his defence, it doesn’t sound like a man who wanted to be acquitted !

there’s a full moon

and half

and third

they all have their beauty

but

plumb for the third

ed. huh, i was going to write "full" in the last line because i was outside and it was full, but third was what seemed to be required

the most  horrific thing  i have heard of in the russo-ukraine war is wagner dismembering deserters alive to teach medics and soldiers about how to treat wounds

when i thought about it, it probably occurred in WW2 as well on the eastern front and the 1917 to 1923 civil war

wagner was always doomed in the ukraine, it needed a combined services operation, particularly air power to be successful in the ukraine, they never adjusted what had worked for them in africa, yevgeny prigozhin had a hubris that was ultimately devastating to himself personally

claims for a jewel land

are necessarily defunct

first you have to get there

then it has to exist

then you have to return

improbability

concatenated

i think you have to find meditation interesting to make it worthwhile and in my observation ,  most people don’t and in some it actually accentuates psychosis

an interesting  take  on germany’s V2 program during WW2 is that it was a catastrophic misallocation of resources and for the same cost they could have developed the atomic bomb

if germany had worked with japan on developing nuclear weapons we could have faced a  high castle  scenario

an interesting video about nazi gold, there really was  a gold heist

some sense on  gallipoli ,  it wasn’t necessarily doomed, but lacked the support required, especially in artillery and men

fighting between equally balanced sides is always a disaster, one side needs a very large advantage to make the costs and risks worthwhile

the problem with reincarnation is its not an accurate reflection of the way memory and the past exist, if the past can be said to exist at all, rather reincarnation is constructed as a sort of extended present, not lossy like memory and in fact all storytelling literature suffers from this problem, reincarnation is simply another story

blossom is necessary for fruit

don’t be fooled

by one stage

teaching is a disease

you only ever learn

that is all

a softer world

a harder world

dreams

and reincarnation

straddle

both

another  short  with calligraphic cursive and surprisingly has  music  that seems to enhance the impression

the fine detail and steadiness of  nikolietta’s  hand is unbelievable

many to many

many to two

two to one

one to two

one to one

two too many

the revolving circus

of displaced from true

"catharsis" which is an emotional purgation by indirect or imaginary experience, is a foundation of entertainment

its a well known technique of religions to pretend something is an historical event rather than some fantasy by literati

and you get the same thing with state propaganda by repressive regimes

look at the factual history to get yourself straightened out

if you want to of course, most don’t

boundaries

between people

male and female

strangers and family

predator

and prey

they are there for a purpose

otherwise

the

world

would

dissolve

re

in

carnation

incarnation

beauty reincarnates

that is all

what has happened

tells you everything

but what will happen

tells you more

what has happened

tells you everything

what will happen

tells you more

history

other times

the perspective

that

comes with that

a deep falling

into something else

young women

the trauma of

unsatiated hypergamy

they that say

don’t do

that say

and

say

and

say

i pretty well dropped my own  cursive  as unreadable decades ago

questions without answers

no worse than questions with answers

but

no better

governments have a natural tendency to slide towards dictatorship and this is because 10% of the population are always prepared to do the dirty work needed to enforce this

the great virtue of the english system of democracy with a king or queen is that this figurehead acts as a surrogate or "declawed" dictator and fills that vacancy in the human social psyche rendering the emergence of a real dictator almost impossible

putin’s emergence was enabled by russia lacking any equivalent which it could have put in place as it reconstructed its institutions, but unfortunately the romanov descendants were cot cases of idiocy

melodramas work by the constant creation of unresolved tension that resolves but almost simultaneously creates new sources of tension

this is to our brains a non-substance addiction that hinges on fundamental function of the brain in terms of "the free energy principle" ie the necessity of information gathering for error correction

if you’ve ever watched a "zoom fractal" on youtube, they go on forever, continually changing but with simple repeating patterns and you can consider then as constantly reducing in scale, that is, things can be infinitely small

its interesting to compare this with physical reality which stops at the planck length, at least as far as the current understanding of physics goes

the physics of existence has limits that thought or concepts are not bound by in the same way as a novel or painting is not bound by how the real world we know actually works, yet those representations can shed light on the circumstances of that actual working

poetry, wisdom literature, aphorisms, philosophy are the plank length of "reality" which you cannot go beyond, theology for instance is a false construction attempting to go "more primitive" than this limit and hence becomes some very flawed, highly removed "entertainment device"

there is no external world

it only looks like that

pretty convincing of course

"another time in fragments"

dawn the transition sky

drops its fragments

blue and red

the fading beauty

intensifies

and

delivers

edit  :  the title is a reference to a book of poetry by larry eigner, i don’t think my poem entirely works which i have noticed is the usual result when i try to adapt someone else’s thinking to my own

i was thinking about addiction and the difference between complete and partial abstinence and its a very grey area in that complete abstinence is the necessary platform from which "relapse" occurs and the only way to contain relapse is partial abstinence where you have a wide spectrum of result

“ The offspring of male mice that consumed aspartame at levels equivalent to much lower doses than those deemed safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, demonstrated heritable spatial learning and memory deficits over the course of a controlled 16-week exposure ”

if you read  the article ,  they more than hint that all artificial sweeteners are destructive of metabolic and cognitive health

the mainstream media, mindful of advertising revenue are quiet on the problem as per usual

because sleep consolidates memory an interesting perspective is every day we lose part of ourselves, the experience that gets filtered out or transmogrified as part of the consolidation process

an huge ongoing inherent trauma, we are walking leaking bowls of being

female painters differ from male in that with women ,  at least the well known ones, their femaleness is always the dominant theme, georgia o’keeffe would have to be the outstanding example in this respect

the russian orthodox church is a key "enabler" of the russo-ukraine war, yet there’s almost zero criticism by other christian churches of its "war criminal" behaviour

from watching a few of the "chinese drama" youtubes, i can tell you the chinese are obsessed with

food

status

money

health

the last they really need to be concerned with, all that air pollution i guess, high rates of mental health problems as well, won’t be different from the west in this respect

interestingly you get subtle propaganda messages very typical of communist regimes, like a glorification of work since there is no incentive to work in a communist system, an attitude of permission or expectation of the use of violence by power elites and acceptance of subjection by the proletariat to unreasonable decisions and behaviour

small moments expand

effect

has nothing to do with duration

supermen

superwomen

even in their sphere

flawed

life depends

on incompetence

to occur

you won’t and can’t change the world

however, your little corner of it can be different

and take its shape from you

it is unrewarding and burdensome to go beyond this

one of the great poets, larry eigner had severe cerebal palsy

he’s not as well known as some others, but his poems are in quite a different space

from "another time in fragments"

again dawn the sky

dropped its invisible whiteness

we saw pass out nowhere

empty the blue  –  stars

our summer on the ground like

last night another time in fragments

i have commented on this before, but at its best there’s a level of literary interest and competence in chinese "soaps" that is entirely missing from western entertainment and even the so called "high brow" writing and i can only think that its because sophisticated literary talent must be forced into entertainment as the only safe outlet, thinking for yourself is a crime in dictatorships and the CCP is a dictatorship

for example,   out of the blue  we get advice on what is effectively how to write a poem and i have never seen it so well expressed

1.  the perspective must be unique

2.  it must be sincere and be what you actually think

3.  write about whatever is of interest to you, ignore conventional thinking and attitudes, but don’t overstep the boundaries in a way that will make you vulnerable, any good writer has enemies out there

i have noticed on the net where i must be one of the most banned people is its not what you say, but the fact you stretch people’s brains to even start to read what is written that causes a negative backlash

you might gather i’m not in sympathy of that pit of the sub-mediocre   —  the writer’s guild of america

trying to understand

what cannot be understood

prattling on forever

they pass their lives

missing the point

one day i say something

the next i turn it on its head

a week later

both forgotten

something new instead

one day i say something

the next i turn it on its head

a week later

both forgotten

with something new instead

something new to me, the "barnum effect"

sorta in the realm of a mechanism of "voynich"

destroying stories

revealing the discontinuous

things appear as they are

sharp fragments

ripping apart

what is

existence or non-existence

there’s not much to say

parallel universes

infinite realities

the one i have got

is already too much for me

the sages say

everything is pretty much as it can be

eight words against a billion trillion

nonsensical blatherings

and you ask me

why the world is the way it is ?

sometimes i am tempted to put more personal detail in what i write, but inevitably it doesn’t work, people need to be able to plug in their own experience, not be carried by another’s

from the shallow to the deep

one drowns in one

and wades in the other

the  terezin  concentration camp

“ i never saw  another butterfly  ”

children singing the opera  brundibár  august/september 1944

i won’t say more

“ You’ve been quite quiet lately, everything ok ? ”

no, i am suffering from a bad addiction to chinese and korean youtube soap operas

hopefully i am resolving this and am returning to the real world

changing faces

realities vary

yet are the same

the eye of the sun

too bright to be looked at

or seen through

which doesn’t stop

the blind from trying

love

that addictive dream

soulful bonding

always fraying at the edges

memory

a fading thing

yet

our lives wheel

on the brains pivot’s it leaves

a happy ending

an unhappy ending

both dwarfed

by

ending

temperance

abstinence

qualities for non-addicts

addicts require

T-totalism

you have to objectify the substance

and completely deny it

syncopate

stop

get off

the world still revolves

without you

history

co-incidences in the past

concatenate to the present

creating

intensity

traumatic encephalopathy   :   you see it all through the contact sports world, personality change  =  brain damage

why does russia have so many immigrants ?

between WW2 and stalin’s purges the country was depopulated and now

brother kills brother in the ukraine

its like pete seeger’s song

when will they ever learn ?

over her ashes

the pines whisper

and the moon’s sterile light shines

why does it have to be this way ?

my loss

forever bleeds

actual blood

is incongruous

to what i feel

yet tears

are only water

loose ends waving in the breeze

it pays to tie them

rarely do they tie themselves

emily dickinson

her  columnar  self

away from popularity

into her own world

no compromise

is its own reward

poems

4D

sound, layout, semantics, permutation of grammar

more complete

than prose

li po, tu fu,  su shi , wang wei,   bai juyi

straw hat men

fishing

the cold river snow

characters in a story

the plot swirls around

to define them

meditation  prayer  contemplation

theological lunacy

designed

to plasticise the brain

to take up

the cult shape

my brain

needs space

to cogitate

and think

and come up with ideas

if i don’t give it this

it doesn’t happen

kant was strongly influenced by hume and hume was familiar with buddhist thinking through the jesuit missionaries experience in asia

greek philosophy itself was a formative influence on zen and buddhism through the greco-bactrian kingdoms along the silk road, east and west were not as isolated intellectually as is commonly imagined, the terracotta warriors for instance were due to greek statuary influence as was statuary of the buddha, ideas are the most portable substance ever

“ Do you think mechanism and life are two different orders of logic, or are they the same order ? ”

discontinuous, basically life is emergent which decouples from mechanism

for some reason "(1913) dining room in the country"   —   a third the way down  this page  by pierre bonard stands out for me, i’m not sure why

the spring of life

if it doesn’t grow then

it won’t grow later

strange loops

circles that are not so strange

they capture

ed . escher is of course famous for his  depiction  of strange loops, but the way i would think of them is some abstraction of real life that shows how things really work

love

a universe

of calculus

and irrationality

if people won’t step up to rational argument, what can you do ?

catharsis

in life and entertainment

resolve

i was involved in zen buddhism for a while and oddly, the one thing i picked up from it was social skills, also meditation teaches you to see yourself more insightfully, though a fair portion of people might be better improving their golf handicap for all the difference it makes

“ I’ve personally turned to Buddhism and Taoism for answers ”

whatever they claim, they are in fact religions with the usual problems, their "westernization" tries to disguise this fact by an attempted abstraction into literary forms

a poem titled "final curve" by langston hughes who i have grown to quite like over the years and initially not thinking much of him

when you turn the corner

and you run into yourself

then you know

that you have turned

all the corners that are left

daphne de maurier had a way more  interesting life  than most authors and one has to say, comparatively personally successful

a poem  by her

jean-françois millet, "end of the  hamlet  of gruchy" ,  this is his home village and the painting was made many years later when he was living in barbizon, so in effect its actually a reconstruction, a fantasy that carries deeper meaning for him than a more  literal  rendition

people who are very two faced, rude and obnoxious to you while smarmy to others are a hazard of the net and are quite happy to put a lot of energy into aggravating you  –  beware

listen to what people say

you will see the brain behind

the halls of insanity

exist in life

we tread their floors

constantly

charcoal black

the embers glow beneath

talent

often never grows

lacking opportunity

i had always though alzheimers and dementia meant pretty much the same thing, but alzheimers is a distinct neurological condition while dementia is a broad category covering significant cognitive loss more oriented to symptoms

the flaw in love

observation without interaction

an erroneous dream

the dream of holiness

or spiritual attainment

god

whatever

christian, buddhist

a revolving lantern show

of nothing

reconstructed history

a guide to the future

a warning ?

ambiguities abound

not the least in the flaws of reconstruction

seers extrapolate

but like the delphi oracle

only speak of the indefinite

what doesn’t work

a pastiche underlain with inconsistences

the bane of life

ineffectual simulations

masquerading

as real

why does a face reveal so much ?

it must be the way the brain makes it hang together

dynamic and static

moving and still

both convey

why does a face reveal so much ?

it must be the way the brain makes it hang together

injury

emotional or physical ?

both disable

blood pours from one

the other, invisible

except to the brain

hilarious, these  catwalk models  are taught to put one footstep in the same line as the other to swing the hips, lol, but look at how the designer waddles

anna netrebko singing  solveig’s song  with the prague philharmonia

soaps

schizophrenia

all feeling

rationality

drops into a hole

lost

huike’s cutting off his forearm

the height of absurdity

why don’t they get the conclusion

the rest is absurd as well

idiots cover the earth

this much is obvious

ed.  a well known zen "case"

there is something

there is nothing

better plum for something

because we are something

nullity is too hard to live

the utter blank

of being in front of the keyboard

and not able to remember the password

declamation versus question

the idiots declaim

intelligence questions

i neither liked nor understood beethoven’s  große fuge

planet        juilliard

but reading sylvia plath’s  poem  helps with understanding it

addiction

it ends

in contempt

for the substance

and

its

effects

a long

way from

the glamourization

of the start

a distance

it

is

necessary

to travel

sorry

no

shortcuts

soaps

a world too female

a rollercoaster of emotional insanity

the joy of the traumatic

is not for me

soaps

a world too female

a rollercoaster of emotional intensity

the joy of the traumatic

is not for me

starless and fatherless

sylvia’s dream of black water

sense escapes sense

i pity the misery

since it isn’t mine

but all the same

its true

there’s something very disturbing about chinese culture and its the right of the powerful  to inflict injury  without retribution

straight stockhausen syndrome, it permeates everywhere

a more fractioned life

continuous disjunction

mine

what is wearing

is the hostility

of the prosaic world

to any form of artistic thinking

self destruction

beauty is rife with it

or the feeling at least

the reality

can be a bit hard to take

there’s a lot of art with people in that hits the liminal space imo, for example  nighthawks  and actually everything edward hopper paints is in this area

people seem to assume i’m a natural born sucker, fortunately, usually i’m not and can deal with them

a good talk  on why the current situation with china is not a cold war

paris

city of pickpockets

immigrants

and

air pollution

tears

soft

falling

rain

ed. an old poem, but one of the best i have ever written and has the bonus of being easy to remember

it came to mind again after hearing these words from a chinese song

the teardrops of sadness

bring extreme beauty

the black whirlpool of your eyes

no longer look at me

the dream falls into a melancholy quiet

people’s lives are like used cars

too much maintenance for anybody else to take responsibility for

its interesting to compare charles bukowski with sylvia plath, both "geniuses", yet his use of language is one dimensional compared to sylvia’s which i think is due to him having the lingually confused upbringing of spending his first three years of life in germany whereas sylvia was a true "monolingual" and like emily dickinson crosses the boundary into that enhanced use of expression so difficult to put a finger on

at one end of the pole

sylvia plath’s  sheep in fog

at the other end

chinese soaps

i don’t know

what i am saying

the deep and the trivial

how different

yet ?

we cannot live just one

if you want to see what a genuine state sponsored "troll factory" looks like, there is no better example than the comments section of "russia today"

dreary retards with no other employment prospects i’d say

difficult roads

to get there

and when you are there

you ask

was there any other way ?

no

we are rejected

hard as it is

we don’t look at what we reject

there is a balance

on the scales of justice

still

disturbed

the beam swings wildly

before settling

again

you don’t have to explain everything

what happens emerges in its own time

i have posted this before, but its a particularly good version of Mozart’s   piano concerto No.21  in C Major

the strings, wind and piano are all equally up to strength, i was hesitant to put this up because how could such a young pianist be good enough, but when i thought about it, 13 is some sort of intellectual peak for young women

the sound isn’t great, but all the same  this video  of models parading historical chinese dynasty costumes crosses into "liminal space", sorta an eerie feeling of empty dissonance from something that upends our notion about the past being separate from the present

“ the costume restoration team exhibiting ancient chinese costumes at the shanghai theatre academy, showing some costumes from the warring states period to the tang dynasty

the costumes were reconstructed from unearthed cultural relics, referring to the written materials and figure statues at that time ” 

“ how well do we like ourselves ? ”

i don’t think its just inane pop psychology to ask

for most of my life i have been complacent, but now as i see more, i like myself less

IQ tests make a mistaken assumption about the generality of intelligence, that some types of intelligence are not excluded by others

the tests in fact measure a specific set of problem solving skills and tautologically those skills are answering the questions in the tests

that is all, the life difficulties of some very high scoring mensa types speaks to this specificness, vast deficits in other areas

there’s a broad spectrum of types of intelligence and aptitudes and the present cultural worship of IQ is obscene

its sorta weird down here in australasia, an english enclave with a basically english, polynesian and european history now being heavily impinged by asian culture and history forcing a degree of integration and shock with unusual features

quite clever and makes an interesting  philosophical  point in a tangible way

the female "pattern"

more coherent than males

somewhat like a prison

of unchangefulness

dead leaves

on a tree

flabby

not beautiful

poetry’s autumn

is not usually the case

what is the flaw of "evidenced based medicine" is that "combined expert opinion" is a bit of an illusion, i have read a lot of medical papers and believe me there are usually significant variances and actually, its not uncommon for long held consensus views to be be turned on their heads, something as simple as the beneficial effect of statins for example is a minefield of differences

its also relatively common for beliefs held by medical professionals to be a decade behind the research

dr. john campbell talks about  the problems

a world of boxes

that bang against each other

no wonder

the contents get damaged

dying

the process of termination

i have never really thought about it

gradual or sudden

both seem a little weird

there’s an interesting  flip  in the two leading causes of death between men and women, with men its coronary heart disease followed by dementia and alzheimers, with women, its the other way around

age and what seeks to terminate us

cancer, myocardial, vascular, strokes, diabetes, alzheimers

agents poking for flaws

the weakest link to take us

male and female is an imperfect quantum superposition

that is why its always trouble

it never evenly negates

dreams

the world according to us

philosophy

theology

aphorisms

not what the world revolves on

what does the world revolve on ?

boundary conditions

look for it and you will see it

spinning

i wonder if the dramatically increased lifespan in recent decades in china and russia has created a power imbalance between the young and old with the old now driving a political ship the young are forced to crew on ?

writing

a problem solving app

its hard to get to grips with  the scale  of what is happening in the ukraine, brothers killing each other

civil wars, being foundationally irrational can be the most vicious

the most amazing art heist of the century with the full approval of the art establishment was the plagiarism by roy lichtenstein from comic art contemporary to him, that’s what his famous images are, exact uncredited copies of another’s work, and the icing on the cake was an endless supply, if you have ever been involved with creative work on a sustained basis, you will know how hard it is to generate new ideas and here he is with a constant el dorado being presented to him apparently free carried

all i have seen from the "art experts" is rationalization of how its not really plagiarism

its the height of sophisticated criminality to rob the very rich and have them thank-you for it, a category a lot of modern art fits into

interestingly, salvador mundi looks to have been  authentically painted  by leonardo da vinci, what was supposed a con, is not !

something youtube gives  a perspective  otherwise difficult to gain is of language as utilitarian, that is, what the language is doesn’t matter, its only its utility that counts

languages are endless, that they are all different is the consequence of a genetically programmed developmental process, that’s all

thin air

accepts any explanations you can give it

and i give it

the polarized view

the good guy

the bad guy

no blurring

entertainment

is not reality

is it?

seeing a bit further

places you

out of sync

with a world that doesn’t see further

melodrama

the land of love and hate

weirder than can be

co-incidence creates an intense landscape

no-one in their right minds would live there

tears in heaven

where else would they fall ?

before the cause extinguishes

the rain is impartial

to grief

humorous ,  took me a minute or so to "get it"

korean and not surprisingly, highly viewed

modern disaster areas  :

cosmetic surgery

non-cataracterous refractive lens exchange to become glasses-free

lasik and its ilk

tattoos

a lack of understanding on how to maintain a stable circadian rhythm

crossing time zones when pregnant

lack of interest in or even denial of medication side effects

endless

end-less

endlessly

what goes on and on

how to escape ?

there are other worlds out there

go to where its not

chanting repeats

that’s all it is

mindless repetition

you can pass the time this way if you want

doesn’t mean anything though

i’m not sure hymns are any better

“ genetic traits of black death survivors linked to  autoimmune diseases  today ”

i think i probably have the ERAP2 variant, can’t even tell if i have had covid or not and definitely a tendency to the auto-immune side as i get older which i tamp down with 3000iu of vitamin D balanced up by 90 mcg of K2-MK-7 daily

the article says 50% of the european population died and if you had the variant then you had the huge 40% improved chance of survival, not wonder its now entrenched in our genome

its interesting how things really work, as i understand it, what stopped yevgeny prigozhin’s march on moscow was putin threatening the families of the wagner leaders through the FSB, so when putin offered his condolences to the bereaved families after what was effectively his assassination of them, it wasn’t purely bad taste, rather he was telegraphing to any future coup participants that he would go after their nearest and dearest

you can see how difficult it is to wrest power from putin and the russo-ukraine war will be decided militarily for the foreseeable future

the serendipitous beneficiaries of this war are australia, new zealand and other pacific nations since it is making the chinese think twice about invading taiwan while remilitarizing NATO and allies, its no mean feat to have shaken japan and germany out of their pacifism, thank-you validimir putin

we now know that any war is going to result in massive infrastructure destruction on both sides without necessarily escalating to nuclear

drivel

by drivellers

one wonders why

i’m still wondering

teachers

teaching

publicly condoned

poisoning

“ Nah I can’t read  these comments ,  I’m getting second hand trauma from them ”

life’s windows of opportunity that close forever

some were open

others never were

when you have lost what matters to you

then you know

loss

a problem solved

is not solved

until

its

solved

and unless it generates a new problem

its not solved completely

with leonard cohen’s talents, its hard believe the way he got sucked in by zen and never really understood its and his  failure in this respect

"truth" is not the be all and end all

illusions have their place

"truth" is not the be all and end all

falsity has its place

myth making

the deliberate acceptance

of untruth in our lives

"in the blink of an eye"

only it wasn’t a blink

centuries lagged

but i left

eventually

superfluity

i’m full of it

and life is full of it

focusing is hard

all that work

and it walks away

because of the work you put into it

stories

one line following another

capricious

everybody

predicting the future

well they should ask

what the future predicts

for them

the world is a large mass of potential involvements

choose yours carefully

too many will kill you

too little gives rise to an empty life, though what works is not necessarily conventional

samuel barber’s adagio for strings op. 11   played  by the vienna philharmonic

not every orchestra can play it well, it requires a high degree of synchronicity, especially with the strings or it slips easily into dissonance

though barber was an american, it was written in europe in 1936 and has overtones on the misery that was shortly to be visited there

tam bái hồng trần lương

in this case vietnamese has a romanized script and the dance/song title translates to "three bows to hong tran luong"

I        II

  chinese dance

stasis

open a book

close it

nothing has changed

how unlike our lives

catharsis

a cure

for what ails us

 why does it work ?

a reflection

even on a good day

don’t ever think the world is sane

chinese/asian medicine and their whole approach

run a mile

you can figure things out

those extra steps taken

and save yourself grief

action becomes inaction

and inaction becomes action

the problem with the endless

its so believable

its the unbelievable

that terminates

you

script writers

play chess

with their stories

constantly changing

the rules

the board

and the pieces

its amazing what you can find with a web search and a little bit of looking

fact checking

the bane of fantasists

the contradiction between CCP doctrine

and the chinese obsession with money

can only be resolved

by corruption

poets

each one

autocephalous

nothing as freeing

as not

trying to change the world

yet to understand it

some interaction

is

required

disinterested observation

is not sufficient

autism

schizophrenia

always blurred

yet

clarity

separates

assertion, abasement, abatement

yet the belittled

in a class

of their own

resentment

festers

opinions

don’t matter

yet people steer by them

and abandon them

when necessary

merry-go-round

the horses go up and down

life’s paradigm

waking up

having travelled a long distance

the return

intimidates

there’s no hell

like

a disrupted bonding process

nirvana

buddhism’s illusion

if only it were true

people seek rest

outside of death

but even in sleep

there is none

soaps

a parallel universe

more trauma per half hour

and if there’s none

then you won’t watch the next episode

absence

death and love

the pain is the same

how to tell nonsense from sense ?

just wait it out

sense will assert itself

for you

but

not necessarily for others

how to tell nonsense from sense ?

just wait it out

sense will assert itself

for you

and

not necessarily for others

family can gaslight as well, its not just outsiders

for women

dealing with men

is a totally immersive experience

i can’t say its the other way around

men run

from that sort of baptism

male and female

come to nothing

in the end

blurred

perhaps

a slight remanence

fiction

intensification

deus ex machina

enough

extremes have to clawed back from

you can’t survive there

but if you don’t visit

the universe

is closed

to you

extremes have to clawed back

you can’t survive there

but if you don’t visit

the universe

is closed

to you

the snark

in a mythical land

is not mythical

nor the ship that sailed there

quantum sweeps

brought the boojum

and baker

together

fiction

ravels up

what life unravels

fiction

ravels up

what is unravelled in life

four or more improbable events strung together

the foundation for a chinese soap

this is why our reality is so pathetic

there is not enough of this

co-incidence

the female world

with its schedules, agendas, priorities and values

so different from the male

russian history is full of  the stupidities  of its population going right back to shockingly bad defences against the mongols

does time heal ?

something does i know

hard to put a finger on

but one day

the pain is no longer there

fresher than the morning

no longer under its morbid stare

so many things can be explained in terms of opportunity cost

its not what we do, but what we don’t or can’t because of that

the invisible glass wall surrounding our life

the real world

spliced with fantasy

it doesn’t work

but at least

its bearable

addiction

the beautiful haze

life recedes

malfunctional

that’s its beauty

some of what’s in the chinese popular entertainment space has easy parallels in western equivalents

martial arts, soaps, pop/dance/song

however, that’s not always  the case

beauty

makes men and women fools

or were they fools before ?

time

the impenetrable barrier of being

can what is carried

go beyond ?

why are simple things so hard to understand ?

the elephant in the room

visualize a very small elephant

it doesn’t seem so absurd

too far into something

no longer productive

let time’s distance

work its magic

the safety

in

distance

from

trouble

some things don’t go anywhere

no need to waste your time on them

but we do

the whole problem with addiction is addicts are only loyal to the substance

understand this and you will save yourself a lot of grief

also its to some large extent irreversible, that is "recovered" are also problematic

when i read, i don’t read to the word, but to the sense of the passage and it all takes care of itself, no method needed

today’s profusion of insane parallel universes

too easy to get caught up in

and avoid the real

as one gets older, it requires an effort not to be culturally alienated from the younger generations, there is "quality" out there if you keep an open mind

d soraki

“ they know what is what

but they don’t know what is what

they just  strut

 what the fuck ”

does transformation have deep inner meaning ?

i don’t think so

multiplicities

have always been

some-one dies

before their time

yet i don’t feel

their loss

in the carpark today

a flowering magnolia

i couldn’t think of the name

by myself

others pass like a lantern show

the strobing lights

register

then go

a mass of contradictions

myself

60+ years

i start to see them

holes in continuity

the discontinuous asserts

doing an "all nighter"

physically and mentally debilitating

with its heft of permanent brain damage

ed.  the notion of ongoing sleep disruption and shortfalls as a source of brain damage is scientific, but so little understood that the vast majority of shift schedules aggravate the problem with their cycling between on/off periods, no sooner have they adjusted to one time frame, than they are then propelled into another inducting maximum circadian disruption

the hardest thing in the world

to sit in a chair

for ten minutes

doing nothing

but watch the turnover of the mind

biological systems will always be more complex than our models of them

energy flowing through an open thermodynamic system imposes modal orderliness

two re-expressions of predrag b. slijepčević’s ideas by  sepehr

its not good, if in any conflict, the opponents are too evenly matched, like WW1, WW2 and now the russo-ukraine war

because of the evenness you get a long knock-down and drag-out affair extremely destructive to both parties

russia’s material failure was when it had become obvious it couldn’t take kyiv and the ukrainians weren’t a pushover that it didn’t withdraw from the war and this is putin’s dereliction of duty

stasis

a life

beguiled by media

the lotus chewers

swerve away

into incompetence

vietnamese "pure land"  chant  shorts

green tara mantra I

green tara mantra II

green tara mantra III

in the end i think chanting is meaningless, an endless no exit road although it can be impressive

the unfinished nature of everything

constant unfoldment

to reveal more

i have no advice

if i ever got anything right i’d have advice

but i don’t

“ How can intersubjectivity as a theory, philosophy or narrative device be used in literary narratives ? ”

wouldn’t the fundamental "intersubjectivity" be between the author and reader ?

i feel ''cognitive narratology" is trying to solve a non-existent problem

good writing will always escape its "metas"

my comments on the crazy concepts taught in english lit, how can they waste their time this way ?

its all sort of a "how many angels can you fit on the head of a pin"

or a few volumes in jorge luis borges’ "library of babel"

by meta i mean they are in effect attempting a form of containing structuralism and in this respect i side with derrida on its inherent failure

things can make sense in terms of a context but once you start to examine the context they no longer make sense

that is you want to go "backwards" in terms of examining the coherence of the structural terms

before the multiverse

what is there ?

black branes

“ its possible from the starting point, if that you do have empty de sitter space with positive cosmological constants and fields lying around you inevitably get a multiverse, it just happens you know, its just part of quantum nucleation to different things ”

faces

taut, floppy

wrinkled, smooth

old, young

animated, expressionless

like a hand of cards

mixed signals

that fingerprint

the soul

soaps

these worlds of women predating each other

and men

who are led by the nose

this can’t be true

can it ?

soaps

this world of women predating each other

and men

who are led by the nose

this can’t be true

can it ?

fiction

an ultradense world

more connected than it can be

what dissipates

resonates

constantly interesting

fiction

an ultradense world

more connected than can be

what dissipates

resonates

constantly interesting

beautiful women and handsome men

evolution’s veneer of deceit

they turn out to be

ordinary

worlds that make sense

and worlds that don’t make sense

we live in a world

metastable to sense

but

there

is

a world

that

makes

sense

plato

knew about it

its not generally known the daleks’ bleat "exterminate" was a rather irreverent nod to the holocaust which created a sales barrier for the series in germany

there’s a huge asian "popular entertainment" world out there that is starting to be known more in the west and actually, at its best i think is much more in the "quality art" area than what is comparative for us, that is, you get of more a blurring of popular entertainment from the crass into the thoughtful

thai dance

korean teenage mills and boon, but actually a  story with some contemplative heft

guzheng   :   "blue and white porcelain" composed by jay chou, and  played  cuijianghui

the trauma

of a change in affections

you

someone else

gone,  discarded,  denied,  dismissed

that scarring wrench

certain movements

bring back the pain

everything has hidden pitfalls

some deeper than others

steering

a maze of choices

there is no right one

but a right direction

ghosts

only our own meaning

other worlds

constantly flicking in and out of vision

wang wei

the peach tree valley

waits

until the end

when i eternally

tarry there

ed.  wang wei is a famous tang dynasty poet and the peach tree valley is in reference to a  poem  of his, ignore the corny painting, the translation and reading is ok

addiction

anti-addiction

that

slow

turning

away

culminating

in

freedom

addiction

anti-addiction

that

slow

turning

away

fiction requires some significant variance from reality

otherwise

its

too

real

hell

just some name

maybe its hot

but its nothing

heaven, elysium, jannah

an overcrowded pastoral idyll

also not much

the power of names

and fantasy

makes me doubt

what’s real

seeking echo chambers

the resonance

defeats them

apophatic and cataphatic are a pair

but

i swing to the cataphatic

though i can’t say either is correct

not living a thousand years

or ten thousand

reading

covers the ground

for us

"normality" gets decoyed out of its range

propaganda

religion

art

literature

to the usual

not quite disaster

i am ambiguous about how i feel about this film, but the ending is visually superb

the dirge singer

literature is a subject much better "self-taught" than "taught" especially with the quality research available on the web these days

being taught in a class takes you overly into non-productive areas, self-taught can follow your interests hence be a lot more fruitful

why take on a financial burden the only beneficiary of is the usual avaricious institution ?

you can’t force a higher reading age on people, it is self-willed in limitation just as much as advancement

why are english literature Phds some of the most narrow minded and stupidly contentious people i have ever met ?

the fundamental obscenity of religion

one person giving advice to another

it can’t be done

quantum swings

one side then another

could one go straight down the middle ?

no

attachment

your eyes ripped out in the process

of detachment

is it worth it ?

no

a bit much history

or unpleasantness

you don’t have to go back through it

what does the future owe to the past ?

nothing

in the odd corners of existence

i rummage

looking for gems

mostly i find

bric-a-brac

some of which

shines

pedestrian talent

and less than pedestrian

lethality for the better

is in their kit

in writing

just ask yourself

is the baseline good enough

it

is

the crowds

listening to jesus

or buddha

you know a fiction

when you see or hear it

you can tell inexperienced writers

what they say is conversational

it doesn’t work

the fire of female identity

lovers, children, status

she burns all

to get what can’t be grasped

"white people"

i used to be of caucasian descent

now

i'm just "white"

descended from

a colour

a mythical world

where we are known and valued

where problems are met with solutions

in contrast to the chaos of being

melodrama

that harsh

fantasy

"being" is not a mystery

its a tautology

philosophical cogitation on existence

is redundant

the neatness of the dovetailing recursion

defines everything

plato got something right

"being" is not a mystery

its a tautology

philosophical cogitations on existence

are redundant

the neatness of the dovetailing recursion

defines everything

plato got something right

its the unprocessed that exposes us

hanging threads

left to tangle

love

this breaking of boundaries between two people

no-one questions it

i do

“ How do I find a down to earth, next door type guy who turns out to be a millionaire and owns a couple of high end properties, but somehow he loves me as I am and will fight his family for me ? ”

an intersect of the likely compounds to very unlikely

wheat gluten found to cause  brain inflammation  in mice

“ though prior research has shown gluten’s role in promoting body mass gain and inflammation in the gastrointestinal tract, this is the first  study  to uncover gluten’s impact on the brain ”

because of its low cost and convenience, some have diets really that mostly consist of wheat flour in its various forms, this is not without hazard, this research makes it apparent that gluten sensitivity is a continuum incorporating several dimensions, not just coeliac disease, elaine gottschall was way ahead of the curve on this one

fidelity

the lover’s first illusion

for what is

a commodity

i can believe you are a professional author, your sentence structure is not typical of women, somewhat blended into the male with a higher semantic and lower emotional density, characteristic of someone who writes a lot

grief for the dead

the beginning of absence

grief for the dead

the beginning of absence

tears freeze

and evaporate

abstract truths can be wrong in the particular

hard to understand

the media

creating an illusion of personal connectedness

it jars

the meaning is the meaning found

there is no other

jetlag makes the immune system dysfunctional

moyun plays a variation on pachelbel’s canon  on guzhengs

cut and paste

things happen that are not emergent

this is called

fiction

mesmerising

lantern slides

beware

its tentacles

beware of starting anything

it carries its own forward momentum

that can take you who knows where

china and russia are gigantic cases of stockhausen syndrome, subject populations held hostage by the ruling elite

well, north korea would have to be the best example of that

we can’t conceive of a world where entertainment was always very transitory; dance, plays, music, all vanished into thin air lasting only in the memories of the audience and performers

video and various recording and transmission technologies have changed all that in what must seem inconceivable ways to previous generations

on youtube i can see the best the last fifty years has to offer compared to an infinitesimally small subset of what would be otherwise available

this of course has also made many activities economically beneficial, further enhancing product density, we live in a unusual world, one subtle consequence is a loss of interest in more malign political ideologies like marxism with a new opiate thank-goodness

entertainment

a maze of doors

going nowhere and somewhere

a house

its hard to find your way back through

the sun can be white

the sun can be black

mostly it is in-between

marilyn yang classical chinese  dancing

melodramas

a spinning top of emotional affect

i can’t last the distance

tying up loose ends

my mania

empty roads started down

poor quality liminal

churning endlessly

how to escape ?

you would have to be disgusted with an educational system where 80% of the population is unfamiliar with the notion or any detail of  circadian rhythms  and its essentialness to our health

what’s more, they don’t want to know, having any spirit of inquiry trained out of them

30,000 years

a chinese immortal’s life

carries

a

lot

of

baggage

reincarnation makes a banal life much more interesting

what a pity

it is not so

deep injuries

forgiveness is not necessary

the hurt lingers

everyday

it cannot be wiped

with words

the dream dreaming

the one dreaming

was you

ed.  these words are what i woke up with from a dream i had where this happened

time is distance

hearts once joined together

now torn apart

cannot be re-joined

forever

i think the beginning and end of addiction is limiting the amount of whatever, i have talked on reddit to these very sophisticated and knowledgeable "small dose" drug users who seem to survive, though i can’t say their brains remain unscrambled

by that criteria most of the population are sitting on the edge of alcohol addiction with their social drinking, yet are effectively managing it since they limit the amount which i think is the case

i do think europeans in the main have some sort of genetic protection against alcohol abuse because i have seen the effect on australian indigenous people, its like heroin to them, they have absolutely no "protection" at all

so once you fall outside the category of being able to limit your use, then you must completely abstain, so you are, as alcoholics anonymous points out, an addict for your entire life

its amazing how adequate or inadequate sleep with and without "quality food" alters your perspective on life

butan has both polyandry and  polygamy

when i thought about it, my own status as never married and not in a relationship would be regarded as unnatural in islamic countries, what seems normal or acceptable in one culture can seem weird from the viewpoint of another

every time we go to sleep

do we ask ourselves

what is the oblivion coming ?

it all goes on forever

you think it can’t change

and then it changes

chinese historical melodrama

a pack of cards shuffled

love   murder   hate   conniving   manipulation   caste and breaking caste   war

endlessly rotated

an extravagant mirror

of

us

its not that people aren’t interested in existential questions

but they can’t be

you don’t have to go very far down the road of questioning

to see

something is very wrong

diana ankudinova  sings  "i can’t help falling in love with you"

circles

points carving always the same trajectory

you can call this

reality

why is it

those who have been through hell themselves

are so keen to inflict it on others ?

is it because that’s

all

they

 know ?

what i notice looking at chinese entertainment

the crazy reverence for martial arts

a theme of necessary servitude to cruel oppression

male-female equality

subtle western plagiarisms

(shakespeare/ sir henry neville even !)

blurring with south korean entertainment

empty space

we stare waiting

something will happen

maybe

creating imaginary worlds

some seem to glow and have their own life

other’s don’t

melodrama

set in a cruel universe

as though that is all that can be

and maybe it is

apple on a table

in my world

the apple holds the table up

so i was looking at a short with a singer with the most amazing voice, the only info i could find about her was a name in russian/cyrillic script so where to go from there ?

well to my surprise cyrillic transcribes very well into english on a letter for letter basis

Д И А Н А   А Н К У Д И Н О В А

which goes to   Diana Ankudinov

what i feel that voice range matches in women is mongolian throat singing

the most soppy melancholic song ever and  sung  by sinéad o'connor just weeping sentimentality and suicidal depression

its not an old song at all, but with lyrics written by frederic weatherly set to   londonderry air

no question, the irish are a musically talented race

i don’t want to seem unsympathetic to sinéad, there is a beauty to her sadness that permeates

one of the interesting features of the russo-ukraine war is the importance of the vulnerability of infrastructure to drone attacks, interestingly positive in terms of limiting china’s expansionist aims since it has an extraordinary vulnerability in this respect, you don’t just need offensive military capability but a massive coverage of high technology air defense

russia is a culture i think permanently marked by the outright terror of having gone through the stalinist years though the younger generation are showing signs of shaking free, in a sense putin has been free carried by this fear and political apathy of the general population, but now with the war not going so well, this self imposed "social control" will start to break down

fractals in nature are an emergent effect of optimisation of surface area ?

great art in religion comes from periods of total social control, where religion has to be served by art as a propaganda tool, so the artists have to work within the boundaries of what the propaganda permits, renaissance painting and sculpture are very good examples of this

however since the propaganda is usually lies of the first order, when the social control relaxes the artists move beyond the old boundaries and from the perspective of this new freedom, the religions themselves are strongly anti-creative which is basically the situation today

why you shouldn’t have added sugar in your diet

“ fructose works differently than other nutrients by lowering active energy, damaging mitochondria

study results  show that fructose stimulates food intake and lowers resting energy metabolism, much like an animal preparing to hibernate. further, results show that the administration of fructose can lead to weight gain, insulin resistance, elevated blood pressure and fatty liver among a host of other metabolic-related issues

this work puts together in one place the full argument for how a particular carbohydrate, fructose, might have a central role in driving obesity and diabetes

this is a very exciting, new hypothesis that unites other hypotheses to point to the specific role fructose plays in the onset of obesity ”

this abstract gives a very good explanation of the "survival switch" problem

god’s will

the gods’ will

doesn’t seem a lot different does it ?

problems can be solutions

to the unexpected

problems can be solutions

to something unexpected

flaws are so deep

because

their correction is so deep

china has so much continuous history, its hard for us to conceive

some of these  chinese soaps  are so addictive they should carry a government health warning

culturally they are a bit alien, but if i was an american scriptwriter, i would be more worried about these than AI

long memories

hold and don’t hold

everything fades

as soon as it occurs

long memories

hold and don’t hold

everything fades

as it occurs

to go far far away

and return

on a daily basis

is necessary

some-one on reddit replied to a five year old post of mine

i read what i wrote and am straight back in it !

continuity

only this time around i'm not bothered to argue the point so there is a difference

an exact full moon

rising at dusk

a bit different

a hint of hidden power

edward teller with a sage  observation

suru’s translation of touzi’s verses on fushan’s 16 themes; no.11 the fault is not in the words

picking up the exposed pillar to use like a wooden ladle

not meant that another should imitate it

since a three-legged spider does not have this skill

it causes the old king to laugh  —  haha !

言無過失。露柱拈來作木杓。它人不宜任從它。三脚蜘蛛巧不會。致令王老笑呵呵。

“ This one I don’t understand at all Haha ! ”

its a puzzle for sure, sometimes it takes me several days and a bit of research to see what the translation is about

maybe the three-legged spider can’t weave a web ?

maybe he’s talking about some sort of modulation of reality in light of the understanding zen gives ?

a deeper understanding

one can set one’s lights by it

ed.  guiding light, an idiomatic expression

and prosper

i was shocked by   this composition  by alma deutscher

i’m not sure why, its like a literal genius composer from the classical era being resurrected except they are totally unknown to us, sorta completely asynchronous to the musicality of today, a time warp so to speak

grinzinger polka

“ How do you cope with not having a social life as an adult ? ”

take an interest in literature, philosophy and the arts, its a way of talking to the greats on autistic spectrum across the ages

if one looks at contemporary generations, there’s very little of interest in the way of people, on spectrum or not, its a stupidly monotone world

i think its important to do some "quality reading" to get out of the rut of "normal" and its stupidities

my list

its the result of a lifetime of reading, its an interesting world out there, but you have to go across time to find it and really, reading is the only way you can do it

i never read because i feel i should, what i do is follow what interests me

i don’t think the world exists in a way that a hierarchy of intelligence gives guaranteed clearer perceptions of as you rise further in the hierarchy

sports are the "matrix" of battles, in effect a form of battle practice, a largely displaced need these days, though once of course essential to the village’s survival

“ Inorganic Arsenic in rice represented 63% of the total As measured in the tested products, and was highest in whole rice and enriched white rice.  In general, rice and rice-based products contained significantly more As, Hg, and Pb and less Se, Fe, Cu, and Zn than their gluten-containing counterparts based on wheat ”

study

sometimes genius can get too idiosyncratic and never amounts to much, or at least gets hemmed in by a self-imposed ceiling

black

white

brown

females of any race

the commonality

make-up

  this dance  is obviously in tune with its mainly female audience, i think effective dance is a brain synchrony between the choreographer, dancers and audience

there’s more and more  research  showing fine particulates in the air as causing many diseases

the way poetry is and people’s attitudes to reading it, is if what you write is easy and clear enough for people to read and say they don’t like it, then that’s still a big plus, that is, it has been read against their will

i think it would be more helpful to say how you did it than just the bald statement that you did it

who is the boss ?

this young girl tells them  when to start !

if life were a melodrama

it would be far more interesting

only

everyone would be dead from PTSD

within a week

when the dummkopfs

can’t

cope

with

criticism

they

reach

for

the

stick

  “ there would be no english departments, no journalism departments, in school and life , etc etc ” 

there will still be journalism but there’s no english departments already, just empty facades

honestly you can educate yourself on the web in english lit way better than the stupid department courses

the way the english literature  (and other arts/humanities studies)  in universities have "dumbed down" over the last decade is perversely fascinating, their function is now as a refuge for the intellectually handicapped

you are not answering the questions for a start, that’s intellectual dishonesty and so typical of the academic english literature scene now, mired in stupidity so thick and your aggressive defensive responses are typical of it

what can i say ?

i had to look up "enjambments", its actually one of the stylistic "tricks" that separates poetry from prose

creatives write, "professional students" and academics read

endlessly

 to what effect ?

fake realities

with their seasoning of truth

how bitter

a completely different perspective on social skills

interpersonal  neural synchrony  during social interactions

it really turns a few things on its head

i think its particularly relevant for female-female interactions where you can see it constantly in play

suru’s translation of "a life spent uprooting gains"; no. 10 of touzi’s verses on fushan’s 16 themes

stop seeking yellow leaves, you lose your wealth

consider yourself as alone  —  how can you return to the ancestors ?

countless sages have passed down the bottomless bowl

there is illusion and enlightenment within the borders of existence

利道拔生。休觀黃葉失金錢。自是無它豈後先。千聖共傳無底鉢。大都迷悟有中邊。

my  comment

bottomless bowls or an ever increasing downwards stack of turtles

old images

of the same thing

extremes are hard to live with

telescoping

distance

the

far

comes

close

education, the mind shoehorned into malign state and cultural moulds

taught to be stupid

tragedy begins young

to be a good actor or actress, there always has to be an emptiness upstairs

there are one or two exceptions that prove the rule, but countless interviews show the vacancy

there’s nothing but banality

another cheng xiao  dance video ,  i think what’s unusual about china is the quality of what might be considered "lowbrow" in the west, the reason being that its really the only safe form of the arts since anything in the "higher brow" area in far more likely to be censored so you get the compression of the better writers and performers into more publicly accessible entertainment

i think "gifted" is a notion that can be applied to children and young adults, but not to older adults because then you are dealing with realised or the failed realisation of talent

you can see the dancers virtuosity better for it being  a rehearsal  rather than performance, the lighting is daylight and its less confused without the costumes

the other interesting thing is the sheer number of people in the performance, the igor moiseyev ballet company is russian, i suspect this would have been too expensive to stage in the west

ed.  1983 production so the soviet union rather than russia ?

you wouldn’t have to be much past twenty-five for the flexibility required to be beyond you

cheng xiao’s qipao  dance performance  in masked dancing king

very european imo, at least they have the sense not to be ruining their feet in ballet shoes

“ I don’t judge alcoholics and addicts anymore, reality is too harsh to deal with for some of us ”

i think you can judge addicts and alcoholics for the mess they make of everyone else’s lives

“ as well as an increase my drinking ”

why cripple yourself?

there’s more mental energy going into what women wear than mitigating climate change

some insight  into this process

i’d always assumed it was more random that it is, but there’s a definite artistic coherence and attention on effect

you’d think men would be more interested, especially since they effectively "tithe" a significant proportion of their income to this

simple things

pursued

don’t necessarily give the right answers

but they may

intrusion

the modes of life need to be kept separate

to work

or at least as well as they can

an amusing tiktok ,  she lives in islamabad

what i have noticed in "informal media" is that the non western content is a step more intelligent than the western, we may be seeing some sort of filtering by income, ability etc

real worlds and fantasy worlds

today’s media

blurs the difference

suicide because

there’s no because

just

absence

early

the new "opiate of the masses"

is no longer religion

but entertainment

seems

to

work

the way women dress

they are always saying

you need me to reproduce

generation after generation

every

single

one

of

them

abstracting out

the correct from the incorrect

life’s burden

language is a genetically programmed ability

language is a genetically programmed developmental ability

in life

six decades and more

just to learn how to survive

for the bank of being

to be undercut

by the current

of aging

and

collapse

our reliable world

its comfortable corners and landscapes

peopled with familiarity

yet the strangeness of beauty can seep in

occasionally

and that’s all

i wish i could say more

but i can’t

there’s something to understand

its never-ending but you can get there

most fall by the way

don’t let them pull you down

the central tenet of marxism is that people can be trained and coerced to ignore self-interest in favour of communal benefit

you can see echoes of this today in various "woke" doctrines

all this is in complete denial of one of the main scientific advances in the last twenty years

genes are a form of knowledge carried forward

how genetically determined everything is

when what we believe is flawed

then we become

that flaw

the virtue of the "so bad its not believable"

is

its not believable

trimming

not something i’m good at

but

necessary

the bizarre dissonance

our ideas

what happens

the wall of our limitations

when you start counting the bricks

you know you’ve got quite close

why was socrates executed ?

if you listen  to his speech ,  its hardly one from a man wishing or expecting to be acquitted

he was associated with a pro-spartan faction which after the disastrous peloponnesian war would have meant the prevailing sentiment in athens would have been very much against him and actually a lot of other  negative history in my view politics and philosophy are necessarily an unstable and dangerous mix

the basic issue with too much sugar is for the body to regulate blood levels it has to secrete large amounts of insulin from the pancreas, an amount that of course is also increased by developing insulin resistance

the problem with this is that the pancreas "wears" for various reasons  (like the joints actually)  so consuming large amounts of sugar over a long period permanently impairs the ability of the pancreas to tamp down blood sugar levels and the problem with this is basically the high sugar levels start to "burn" the body and its organs

a quote from virginia woolf’s first published book  the voyage out

“ She felt very old this morning, and useless too, as if her life had been a failure, as if it had been hard and laborious to no purpose.  She did not want to go on living, and yet she knew that she would. She was so strong that she would live to be a very old woman.  She would probably live to be eighty, and as she was now fifty, that left thirty years more for her to live ”

if eighty was very old at the turn of the twentieth century, i would say equivalent to being in our nineties now, a shift of about 12 years longer

you can see the genius in her writing, that marvellous flowing prose, but still the book doesn’t grab me, a sort of dullness of suicidality